Moving Out, Moving Up, Moving In...

We have lived in our home for almost four years, well it would be four next April. We have definitely out grown it, but part of me loves this house. It is in a great town, with wonderful schools. But my parents are driving me insane!! See my parent's own it. We moved in with the intentions of owning it one day. We simply pay the mortgage, and one day it is ours! Unfortunately my parents have evolved from being great supportive parents to annoying nuisances. We simply can't stay here anymore. I feel like I am trapped under their thumbs.

I was raised in a very religious home. Not necessarily strict, but there were a lot of things I was clearly not allowed to do. I always had a fear of displeasing my parents especially my father. He was a workaholic, hardly ever home, but would make up for it with elaborate weeks long vacations all over the U.S. He had a horrible temper and I always walked on eggshells to make sure I didn't "wake The Beast" as my brothers and I called it.

My mother was too passive, she let us walk over her. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive her for letting my Dad act the way he did sometimes. I felt bad for her and I vowed I'd never be with a man who treated me the way my father treated her. I think if my husband ever laid a hand on me, he would cease to breathe.

Fast forward to when I'm 21. I decided I didn't really want to be "religious" anymore so I use work as my excuse to get out of going to church with them. I wouldn't dare tell my parents this because it would be the main and only topic that would ever come up. I would have to listen to why my choice was wrong and have a huge guilt trip laid on me. I still feel kind of guilty that I am not living a "religious" life. Chris doesn't understand why I have kept thing from my parents, he is so open with his family...that would never happen in my family.

So I meet Chris, we fall in love, and become pregnant...not planned but not necessarily prevented. I was too afraid to tell my parents, not just about my baby, but about Chris too! I hid it from them, once again out of fear. Fear that they would hate me, fear that they would cut me off, fear that they would disassociate from me, fear that my Dad would become "The Beast". They found out from my Aunt that I was knocked up. I had flown to California to visit my friend and she had seen my Aunt at Target and told her all about the ultrasound pictures that I brought with me. Way to keep a secret, right?

I was seven months pregnant when my Dad showed up at my work and cussed out Chris (Poor Chris, he had no idea! I told him I had already told my parents!) and demanded that he call me and tell me to get up there. It was the worst day of my life. Good thing I was super pregnant, even the most callous man doesn't want to see his pregnant daughter cry. I think my parent's, although upset, seemed to just go with it. Especially after seeing that I didn't rely on them anymore... I took their power over me away. They couldn't take away my phone, my car, or my apartment, so that had to just deal with my situation. It was happening whether they liked it or not.

Fast forward to 2007. I was now pregnant with my second child and we needed to get out of Tulsa. We needed a house, a yard, and somewhere where our kids could learn to ride their bikes...not a parking lot. It was my Dad's idea to let us move into this house. Going from an apartment to a home was such a blessing. I loved the house, I loved the location, and I felt like a grownup. I was grateful to my parents. Grateful for the house that became our home, grateful that my mom let me use her Sears card to buy much needed appliances, grateful that she would lend me money to help me out when we needed it...Very Grateful. Now I wish I never would have let them help me at all.

First it started with unannounced visits. Just popping in and expecting me to be okay with their extended stays. I don't care if they brought me into the world, a phone call would still be nice. Then it started with harassing phone calls. It seemed like my Mom thinks that I should just sit by my cell and wait for her to call me and answer on the first ring. She would call sometimes up to 11 times in a row. ELEVEN TIMES!! Now I think that is a bit excessive...and she would leave a message everytime. By time I saw that I had missed calls I thought that someone must have died...nope no one died. No emergency, and she didn't even need anything.

I still have to hide the fact that I let my children celebrate holidays and birthdays. When my kids let something slip about a birthday party, I get an eye...ya know that look like "Uh huh". Then I would have to hear all about, "What is she talking about, what birthday?" Ugh. I don't put up x-mas trees or halloween decor, but even if I wanted to I can't put up Christmas light or decorations, because it is their house, and I have to respect their wishes...but it becomes more of another thing for them to control me with.

I feel like a teen again. I still feel like I am carefully avoiding those eggshells...I don't want to feel like this. I am 26, have 3 children, and I feel like I am slowly being smothered to death. You know those scenes in movies when they are in a trash compactor kind of room and they frantically try to find a way out while the room is slowly smashing them to death...that is my relationship with my parents. Graphic? Yeah. Exaggeration? Nope.

So, we have made the decision to move out. I don't even care if we move out into a one bedroom apartment! I will be happy...and just knowing that we are going to be out from under my parents judgemental glare has made me feel AHHHMAZING! Hopefully that feeling will last while I am looking for a place, packing up a whole bunch of crap, and taking care of my terrible trio during all of it. Can't wait to feel like my own person. Who knows...maybe once I'm out, my parental relationship could be somewhat normal. Maybe I won't need a whole bottle of Xanax and Percocets to be near them.

Have crazy parents? Are you grown and still feel like a child? Do you take extreme care to make sure that your children will not have parents like you did?

The List

So unless you've been living under a rock, I'm sure you've seen "Friends". There is an early episode where they introduce The List, which is a compilation of five celebrities you are allowed to sleep with and your significant other can't get mad. Do you have a list? I do. My husband does too, but I doubt he could tell you whose on it to save his life. When we said, "Hey, just for fun, let's make our lists.", my hubs was done in five minutes...of course after asking me several times, "Uhh what is the name of that girl in that movie?" Myself however, was a different situation. I put Ross' list making to shame. I first had a napkin that I put all my runner ups. If you didn't make the napkin, then you had no chance, haha! This is when I truly thought Chris would leave me, what a freak! Who puts so much time and thought into a list of random (albeit attractive and gorgeous) celebs, when you know it will never happen? A crazy person who camps out in front of their house and snoops through their trash looking for discarded clothes and personal effects, that is who!! Well anyways heres the questions, do you have a list? If the opportunity presented itself would you put the list into play?

Here is my list:

1. Mark Wahlberg

My numero uno celeb crush. I love his smile, sexy teeth, growly voice, laugh, marky mark calvin klein chonie ad body, and his bad boy image...hello "FEAR" anyone, I still loved him as a psycho abusive boyfriend. Heather 4 EVA!

2. Joaquin Phoenix

As of late public's opinion of him is nowhere near sex symbol. But I loved him before any of that craziness. Just watch "Inventing the Abbotts", and see what I think of when I hear J.P's name. Or just google his old modeling ads, super yum.

3. James Franco

Oh James darling...How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...I love his smile. That smirky grin, and sparkling pearly whites, that bad boy vibe. Just realized that there a is a recurring them with the bad boys and me. I don't care if his acting on day time soaps was horrible, or that he recently dressed up as a convincing woman on the cover of a magazine. I love watching him in "Pineapple Express"...so hilarious!

4. Alexander Skarsgaard

What can I say about Alex that trubies don't already know. He is foreign, a modern day Adonis, and also has the trifecta: Great teeth, smile, and bad boy image. Plus he is not afraid to get naked and makes an addicting show all that much more worthwhile to watch. I love me some Askars :)

5. David Beckham

Athletic, sexy, family man, good father, and looks smokin' hot in his chonies (He's no marky mark though) in all those underwear ads. I even had the one picture of him as my laptop wallpaper and told my daughter that he was her real dad...She even told her father this, whoopsie!

New Beginnings

After finding out that I have several friends who blog, I decided to give it a whirl. I'm a big fan of finding those awesome blogs that are humorous and ring true to my life. Those blogs that I wish there were more posts because I don't want to stop reading. Well let me tell you that this blog probably isn't going to be like at all, haha! I don't think I'm the best writer in the world, I favor run on sentences and although I am a good speller, I like to be a lazy typist. So if misspelled words and grammatical errors are your kind thing, you are in the right place! I think it is best for me to blog after my minions have been put to bed, dinner leftovers have been put up, kitchen cleaned up, and school supplies/clothes all laid out for the morning. Since I'm new on the blogosphere I think it best for my first blog to introduce myself. So here we go to new beginnings....

I struggle with marrying my old life with my new. I struggle not to lose "Heather" while I try to be "Mom". I desperately wish that I could move back to California, even though I know staying in Oklahoma is the best for my family. I am a tv junkie, celeb gossip whore, a recovering shopaholic, and I'm perfectly imperfect. Although I was never a stick, I was always happy with my body. Now after having 3 kids in 3 years I now struggle with my weight. By "struggle" I mean that I eat too much and don't exercise at all! You'll totally understand with all my fat kid style recipes that I post in the future. My husband and I have a great relationship. Most couples fight and get tired of each other when they spend time together. The opposite is true for us...we thrive when we are around each other. We try to spend all the time in the world with each other and our kids. Our late night/early morning dates to IHOP keep us in love...true story. Thatcher is a sweet, compassionate, intelligent, handsome boy. He is truely my best friend. We call him Moose. Tyler is GORGEOUS!! She is going to be one of those girls that will have the boys following her around town. She knows what she wants and it is always pink, bedazzled, cutesy, princess, or blinged out! I love getting my nails done with her. Harper is, wow, no explanation! She is crazy, weird, happy, funny, cute, chunky, perfect mix of her older siblings, and everyone loves her. In our family, we call her Dude, The Dude, Harpie Harp. She is definitely one of a kind! We have a yellow lab that we rescued from our local animal shelter a year ago. His name is Atticus and he is the best dog we have ever had. Don't buy, Rescue!!! I am very active in researching my husbands and my own families genealogy. My husband has strong German, Irish, Scottish, and Norse roots. There actually is a published book about his family history. He is descended from Viking Pirates!! How cool is that? I am a big ol' melting pot. I'm Irish, Lithuanian, French, German, and English. I have several ancestors that served in the American Revolution. We have lots of Irish in both of our lines so in closing I'll leave you with a Gaelic goodbye. It means Goodbye and Goodnight!

Slan leat oiche mhaith! - Heather Work